some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
