no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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