btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
