I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
