He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
