shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im holly from the hills drunk
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
