Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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