I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
