just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
