we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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