i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
