I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
