I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I made him laugh his dick is mine
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
