Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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