I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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