singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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