So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
