What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
