Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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