I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm at about main and main street
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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