i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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