is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize