i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
