You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize