We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize