Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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