Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
