If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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