Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
