so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize