the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm getting married
To pizza
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
