i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
