i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
