Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize