You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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