After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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