last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
