It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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