Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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