Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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