Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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