he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Why are your pants in the freezer?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
