Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
