hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
