the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
