Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
