Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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