after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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