this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
