So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
