yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
