I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize