she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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