even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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