did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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