I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
