can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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