Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
