Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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