they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
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