i would punch a child for taco bell
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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