I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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