the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
