What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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