Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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(256): View more from Alabama

Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.

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(301): View more from Maryland

The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"

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(845): View more from New York

Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me

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(303): View more from Colorado

The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.

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(972): View more from Texas

I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling

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(208): View more from Idaho

I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".

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