just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
