i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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