I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
