I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
