Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
