fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
